Afraid thatsomeone who did find out would attack me or at least ridicule me. I wasalso afraid that I would be caught dressed in mom?s clothes. The strangest thing is that the others knew. For example, I came in thirdfor best looking girl in my senior year. The one who won was alreadytransitioning.I was actually attacked at the age of twelve by a boy who goosed mejust because he wanted to find out if I was a boy or girl. When hefound out he laughed. He laughed as I lay on the ground protectingmyself. The physical pain of him grabbing my balls dissipated quickly,but the pain of the humiliation and my feeling violated lasted a longtime.I told my former supervisor about my feelings of the boy who lived nextdoor to me how I played with him until some of my sexual feelings beganto come out. He was a year older than me and also an inch or twotaller. In my fantasy I needed him to hold me, to love me and cherishme. When he accidentally found out he teased me and told the other kidsin the. Naughty girl, sexy, sluttish, innocent. Oh the options were endless. I couldn’t decide so throwing them all in my bag I chucked on black skinny jeans and a white cotton t shirt to travel in. Waiting at the train station my phone beeped. “When you get here you will be wearing black stockings, suspenders a peephole bra AND NOTHING ELSE” Oh shit. I hadn’t packed any. I had a choice to make. Run to the shops and miss my train or go without and risk everything. No contest, I ran to the nearest shops and brought black lace topped stockings, black suspender belt and a gorgeous black satin peephole bra that I knew would hold my nipples to permanent attention. Racing back to the station I fired off a quick message. “Train delayed be there soon” “Naughty girl I know it isn’t did you forget your underwear?” Blushing, I made my way onto the train. At some point in the 2 hour journey I was going to have to get changed. This was going to be a mission. How was I going to do that, I certainly.
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